Fate
by meganbaker
Summary: After a catastrophic breakup with Ron, Hermione slips into a state of complete blankness. Oddly enough Draco Malfoy misses the fiery mudblood he shared Head Boy and Head Girl dorm with, can he re-spark the fire within her?
1. Chapter 1

**Authors note:**

**This is my first attempt at a Dramione fanfiction and I would really appreciate if I got some feedback! Please review, even if you don't like it! Criticism is always welcome, but I do hope you enjoy the story. Also, for the sake of this fic, it is set in seventh year but Voldemort has not yet risen to full power. Draco and Hermione have been chosen as Head Girl and Head boy, they both share a dorm together so Hermione is no longer in the Griffindor tower and Draco does not live in the Slytherin dungeons!**

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><p>Hermione slammed the cover of her book shut, giving her watch a final quick glance that told her she had been stood up, yet again. She was suddenly filled with rage, finally done with Ron's lack of interest in her. She could not believe he hadn't showed. It was a simple study date and he couldn't be bothered to grace her with his presence.<p>

"What could he possibly be doing?" She whispered to herself angrily.

He was evidently avoiding her, and what puzzled Hermione the most was she couldn't pinpoint what she had done wrong. She hated feeling this way, it made her heart feel vulnerable and weak, it made her feel pathetic and she just wouldn't take it any longer.

Hermione was obviously extremely intelligent but what she couldn't understand was why Ron had the sudden change of heart.

People had been jealous of their relationship and how much they seemed to adore each other. They had been one of the most romantic couples to walk the halls of Hogwarts in a very long time. Sweet kisses on the lips and cheek happened regularly and at the most unexpected moments. They often snuggled in the common room and practically clung to each other everywhere they went. When they looked at each other, Hermione felt butterflies in her stomach. She had never felt that way about anyone in her life. He was the first boy she'd ever said "I love you" to. But almost immediately after they had celebrated their one year anniversary and Hermione had given him something she could never get back, Ron had distanced himself from her. He stopped giving her regular kissed and he hasn't told her he loves her in weeks. Hermione was breaking and she hated it. She wanted her old Ron back; she needed her old Ron back.

She had given him everything she could have given him, only to be shoved away. She felt used and faintly regretted giving up so much of herself to him. She wished she could take it all back and save it for their wedding night.

Making a bit too much noise, she rose from her seat and shoved her books into her bag. She practically flew out of the library, almost knocking over a first year. Hastily she muttered an apology, then continued down the hallway, attempting to formulate the long winded lecture she was about to give Ron. She could feel something close to courage as she turned the corner, only a few feet away from the Fat Lady's portrait.

Once she calmed a bit, her footsteps slowed and she heard a high-pitched feminine purr erupt from behind her. Her mind quickly realized the voices were getting closer and as head girl it was her job to figure out who was wandering the halls this late at night because anything but the library was off-limits this late to anyone but Prefects , Head Boy and Head Girl. So she hid in the shadows, straining her ears to hear what the whiney voice was saying.

"Won-won!" She heard the girl squeal, and Hermione almost sighed. Of course it was Lavender Brown. It was probably the fifth time Hermione had caught her wandering around the corridors with a boy.

Whoever "Won-won" was, Hermione felt bad for him. Lavender had quite the reputation around Hogwarts and went through more boys than anyone she knew. Though, knowing boys, they probably wouldn't care as long as they got a decent snog out of it.

Abruptly, Hermione realized that she should probably stop the couple before they went any farther than snogging, to save her some embarrassment. Pulling in a deep breath and raising her head high, she stepped out of the shadows.

As she stared at the scene in front of her, Hermione had never felt such a strong urge to cry. But she couldn't cry, not now at least. She made her expression as blank as possible and coughed loudly.

"Hermione!" Ron gasped, his face turning an unattractive shade of red.

She stared at Ron and Lavender for what felt like hours, she felt nothing but pure loathing. She slowly started to retreat; the betrayal she felt was beginning to feel crippling.

"Ron." She finally whispered. "You stood me up for this slut? How could you? I loved you."

He tried to reach out to her, but it was too late. Hermione was running.


	2. Chapter 2

**Authors note:**

**Hey guys! I really wanted to post this chapter as soon as I could, and I really hope you do enjoy it. I think it's about the same length as the chapter before it, so I hope that's alright! **

**Feel free to review and let me know if you liked this chapter or not. I really appreciate your opinions! **

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><p>He hated her. He hated being head boy and sharing the same dorm, he hated everything about her, especially her dirty blood. She absolutely repulsed him and he was profoundly glad she was hardly ever in the dorm. She spent most of her time with the weasel.<p>

Draco was pacing the living-room he shared with the know-it-all mudblood when he heard the door to the dorm slam shut. He spun around quickly and witnessed Hermione Granger, the epitome of fucking composure, burst into tears. He couldn't stop the smirk that stretched across his face, he loved seeing the bitch suffer and he was always in the mood for a nice verbal argument. Granger could always be counted on for an interesting fight.

He opened his mouth to shoot some cruel words in her direction, but she interrupted him, slowly raising her head so she could meet his grey eyes. "If you so much as say one fucking snide comment, I can promise you, you'll regret it."

"Listen here, Mu—" He started, but in an instant Hermione had her wand at his throat.

"Don't you dare even consider speaking to me, ferret! I am done being pushed around by people, stupid prat!" She practically screamed, her eyes were livid.

Then Draco realized how close the mudblood had actually gotten to him, she was almost touching him and it was fucking disgusting. He spat in her face and she staggered back, stunned.

"Accio wand." Draco said calmly. Hermione's wand flew into his ready hand.

"Give me my wand you spoiled, sodding, idiot!" Hermione yelled, beginning to charge at Draco.

He pointed his wand at her. "If you so much as take one more fucking step towards me, I will hex you into next year. So I suggest you go to your own fucking room mudblood, I've been way to kind to you today."

Draco watched her eyes spark with fury before she turned and walked up to her room with her arms clenched tightly to her sides. He felt proud and satisfied as he twirled her wand between his fingers, before dropping it like it had burned him. He had forgotten the wand belonged to a mudblood.

Once his breathing had calmed a little he realized he could hear Hermione sobbing in her room. Now he was starting to regret taking her wand. She couldn't hex him now, but she also couldn't cast a fucking silencing charm on her room. Now Draco would be forced to do it himself or he would be kept awake all night because of her fucking crying.

What Draco wasn't expecting was for Hermione to tackle him to the ground when he reached the top of the stairs.

"Give me my wand you useless, fucking, prat! I hate you!" She screeched, attempting to hit him. She reminded Draco of a child, it was quite humorous to watch actually.

Draco effortlessly grabbed her wrists and flipped her over, pinning her to the ground. Both their chests were heaving. He was furious, how dare she touch him, and now she was forcing him to pin her down.

"I thought you had more dignity than that, obviously not." He spat.

She struggled against the grip he had on her arms. "Get the fuck off of me Malfoy!"

"I will only let you go if you promise me you'll place a fucking silencing charm on your bedroom! I don't need to be kept awake all night because of your sodding crying, no matter how much joy those tears give me!" He yelled.

"Let me go! You're hurting me!" Hermione screamed, her veins popping out of her skin.

"Promise me, bitch!" He yelled, gripping her arms tighter.

His nails dug into her skin, and she started to bleed. They both stopped yelling and Draco stared, transfixed, at Hermione's bleeding arm. She took advantage of Malfoy's silence and flipped them over again, pinning him to the ground and taking her wand back.

"Stay away from me." She whispered.

Draco watched Hermione disappear into her room and he didn't dare move a muscle. How stupid of him, of course her blood wasn't a different color. Mudblood was only an expression.

How _dare_ she? Who did that bitch think she was? Did she really think that she could over-power Draco Malfoy and threaten him? She was a stupid, ignorant, know-it-all, bitch that needed to know her place in this fucking dorm.

Draco stood up, slamming his fist on the wall beside Hermione's room. If she really thought he was going to stay away from her, she had another thing coming. What he did tonight was going to be kind compared to how he was planning to act towards her from now on.

He hated her.


	3. Chapter 3

**Authors note:**

**Hey! Hopefully I get some love for the quick update because really I wasn't planning on publishing it for a few days. I hope you like this chapter because I enjoyed writing it. **

**Read and review, don't be afraid to hate! xx Also if you're wanting to contact me, I have a tumblr, the link is on my profile! And I also have twitter under the user name: Meganbaker97 **

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><p>Nothing. Hermione felt nothing for the next two weeks, which was strange considering what she had witnessed. She just couldn`t bring herself to feel anything. Time moved slowly, but somehow also quickly and Hermione had trouble keeping track of the days. She walked sluggishly between classes, not noticing she was already in her next class until the bell went. Hermione had also stopped eating in the dining hall, choosing instead to eat in her dorm, alone. Nothing seemed to matter to her, everything felt like a terrible dream and she was just waiting to wake up.<p>

Hermione only snapped out of unconsciousness a few times a day, and it was mostly because of the heartless boy she shared her dorm with.

It seemed like it was Draco Malfoy's sole mission in life to bully her until she cried. That didn't happen anymore though; she hadn't cried in weeks, his cruel words only brought life to her face for mere seconds until she was lost in her own mind again. She should hate the pureblood asshole, but she just couldn't. Somehow she felt grateful that someone could make her feel something even if the emotion was full of pure loathing. And the more she didn't react, the more Malfoy would bother her. She found herself sitting in their living-room as often as she could, hoping his rude words would somehow wake her up from the nightmare.

Yes, that's what it was, a nightmare. It kept here awake at night and gnawed away at her insides, tearing her to pieces. She couldn't think around it, her mind just couldn't move past the moment when she saw the love of her life kissing another girl. She just couldn't comprehend how he could just… drop her. They had been best friends and lovers, but he just threw it away. And for what? She didn't know, and it made her feel worthless.

"So the mudbloods still not going to talk, huh?" He yelled from the kitchen one night.

Hermione just sat, cross-legged on the sofa, staring at him blankly. She waited for him to say something else.

"Well, in case you're interested Granger, I know what fucked you up so badly. I found the weasel and Miss Lavender Brown doing some… unmentionable things in the corridors tonight." He taunted.

Hermione blinked and stopped breathing for a second, she braced herself.

"So how does it feel to be replaced by Lavender fucking Brown? I heard she's quite good in bed… I'll be sure to ask Weasley to see if the rumors are true." Draco smiled at Hermione, as if daring her to answer.

Then Hermione felt it, the sadness, the ache, the hole in her heart. This didn't feel like the other times Malfoy had broken through. This was real, she felt awake. She could feel something building inside her as her breathing quickened, but she didn't know what it was exactly. It all felt way too real.

Draco came out of the kitchen and sat in front of her. "What's wrong Granger? Were you not aware Ron and Lavender were fucking? I can't believe you're actually that thick." Draco said, chuckling to himself.

But she always knew. She knew deep inside once Ron had started distancing himself from her, something was wrong. She had braced herself for something that could potentially break her, but she had no idea he would do something like this, making her feel like she had meant nothing. He had no respect for her, for her feelings. But it didn't enrage her, that's the funny thing about love. She knew she couldn't forgive him and that nothing would ever be the same, but she loved him. She loved him with everything inside of her, and the only person she was angry at was herself.

Then she was crying. She flung herself at Draco, attempting to beat every inch of him until he was covered in bruises. She felt all of the emotions she had held in crash down on her until she was practically suffocating.

"YOU DON'T THINK I KNOW?" Hermione screamed, filled with rage. "YOU DON'T THINK I WAS AWARE HE WAS SHAGGING THAT SLUT!"

Draco grabbed her wrists in an attempt to stop her from hurting herself.

"You're a heartless bastard, you're evil." She whispered and pulled her wrists free from his grip. She absolutely loathed him.

"You're pathetic for even caring about him! Get over it you dumb bitch!" He yelled as Hermione charged up the stairs.

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><p>It's like she expected any different from him. How thick could she be? What did she expect, special treatment because the weasel dumped her ass? Hell, no. Draco fully planned to use this against her. Now that he had finally found her weakness, couldn't help but feel somewhat content. Draco had the perfect thing to hold against her and he wouldn't let it go for anything. He couldn't give two shits about how she felt about him. Come to think of it, he preferred this version of the mudblood… it was interesting the way she could actually keep up with his insults.<p>

A knock at the door interrupted his thoughts, and as Draco pulled open the door he let out a long sigh. Harry fucking potter stood in front of him and the bastard didn't even bother asking permission to enter, the fucking prick. Harry took his cloak off, hung it in the small closet and sauntered confidently off to Hermione's room. Draco slammed the door loudly, if it weren't for his title of head boy he would have hexed Dumbledore's favourite student into next fucking week.

It took Potter all of five minutes to come running back down the stairs. "What did you say to her, Malfoy?" He said in a shaky voice.

Draco was stunned for a second, then he smiled, he hadn't realized he'd damaged the bitch that much. "I don't know what you're talking about, Potter." He spat the last word, somehow making it sound dirty.

"It's like she's dead, she's not talking at all and I don't think she even realized I was here." He said thoughtfully, and then paused, suddenly filled with anger. "So what the bloody hell did you say to her, Malfoy?"

"I told her what she already knew dickhead." Draco answered calmly. Then when Harry didn't answer he continued. "I told her Ron and Lavender are fucking. Godric… are all you lot thick?"

Harry seemed to be stunned. "How did you find out!" He sputtered.

"Caught Lavender doing what she does best for Ron in the corridors tonight. Don't fret, Potter, Hermione had already found out about this before I even mentioned it." Draco winked at him for good measure.

"You're joking… you have to be." Harry sat down and put his head in his hands. "She must be heartbroken, she's been acting weird for a while now, I ca—"

"I really don't care in the slightest bit, Potter. Get the fuck off of my couch and out of my dorm so I can go to bed." Draco said coldly.

Harry straightened his back like he had forgotten who he was with and where he was. He stood up and, surprisingly, did what Draco told him to do. But before he left, her gave Draco a meaningful look. "I'll be back, she needs to wake up, and this isn't good for her. If you say anything that makes her fall any deeper into this… this unconsciousness, I will have the headmaster remove you from Hogwarts forever." Then Harry left.

Draco couldn't leave, the thought terrified him. If Potter was serious, he would have to ensure the mudblood felt something. Voldemort was slowly becoming more powerful and Draco couldn't out it off any longer. If he went home he would have to choose sides. He wasn't sure where he belongs yet.

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><p>The clock said four AM, but she didn't care. She put on her favourite silk nightgown and went downstairs to make herself a cup of tea.<p>

Once it was finished, she sat down at the breakfast bar and sipped it quietly. Then she heard someone coming down the stairs and she hastily covered herself as much as she could.

"What the fuck are you doing this early in the morning, mudblood?" Draco whispered, clearly still half-asleep.

She didn't answer. By the time she had realized he was speaking to her, she was too lazy to answer.

"Whatever." He hissed, and then he made some cereal for himself.

She eyed him curiously as he sat down two chairs away from her. "I'm awake and I'm fucking starving, so I'm eating. Have a problem with that Granger?" Malfoy asked.

She shook her head and grabbed her tea, sipping it slowly. They sat in silence for a while before Malfoy spoke again.

"Potter was here." He stated simply.

She stared at him, confused. "No, he wasn't." She replied quietly.

"Don't tell me what I do and don't know bitch. He was here and went to see you, but you didn't answer him, so he left." He turned his head to stare at her. "You're really fucked up aren't you mudblood?"

Hermione just sipped her tea.


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you so much for reading this! I hope you all enjoy reading this as much as I love writing it. Please review this chapter! All criticism is welcome!**

**Also, thank you to my wonderful beta! Without you, this story would be full of mistakes.**

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><p>Draco didn't dare confide it in anyone, but he almost found it troubling the way Granger looked dead. He just couldn't understand how such a confident, headstrong, bitch could suddenly break like that. He pitied her for letting her fucking emotions take full control. Emotions were for the weak, they did things to your mind that you just can't control, and that's why Draco prefers to take the emotionless route. Without love, sadness, hell even happiness controlling him, he was free. Draco felt unbreakable.<p>

Looking around the potions room, he witnessed way too many people that let their emotions control them. Pansy, for instance, was controlled by her rather flattering, but obviously unreturned, lust for him. Potter was lost in his annoying affections for the youngest of the Weasleys, it was too obviously painted on his face. Even professor Snape was completely driven mad in his hatred for Potter, it was evident in the way he aimed his most difficult questions at him. And last but not least he looked at the Mudblood sitting three chairs away from him. She was drowning in her sadness and how no one else seemed to be able to see it puzzled him. Granger was obviously stuck in a state of pure self-loathing, the idiotic bitch.

Weasley was nothing compared to the Mudblood. Though her dirty blood prevented her from actually meaning anything, she was a million times more intelligent than the Weasel. Ron was just a waste of pure blood and she needed to realize it before she did something stupid like trying to get him back.

The bell went, signaling the end of class and Granger was the first to go. She practically sprinted out of the room, possibly trying to get back to the dorm before Draco did. He stood up to follow her but was stopped by Snape calling him to his desk.

"Yes, sir?", Draco said with a hint of annoyance.

"Professor Dumbledore would like to see you in his office right away." Professor Snape stared at Draco impatiently when he didn't leave straight away. "I said right away, Mr. Malfoy."

Draco inhaled sharply, considering mouthing off, but decided against it. He left quickly, rushing to the headmaster s office.

"You sought after me, sir?"

"Yes, Mr. Malfoy. I did indeed." Dumbledore answered him, removing his glasses.

"May I ask why, professor?"

"It's about Miss Granger, I'm afraid.", he sighed.

"What about her?" He asked timidly.

"I require you to help her cope with whatever is bothering her."

"She's not my problem though, sir. I barely interact with her unless I need to, we share a dorm and that s about it." Draco replied hastily.

"She seems troubled. I am fully aware of the fact that you aren't fond of each other Mr. Malfoy, and I am wondering if you, might have any insight on why she won't speak to her peers."

"How should I know?" Draco mumbled, almost childishly.

"I must insist you tell me, Draco, you are head boy and whether you like it or not, she is your partner. Miss Granger is head girl and it looks like she is in some dire need of help."

"Well, I have no idea what she's dealing with.", Draco stated.

In truth Draco really didn't know what she was dealing with. He d never been in love , if such a stupid thing really did exist anyways. He couldn't relate and couldn't help her at all, even if he wanted to. He wouldn't even consider helping her anyways, she d just push him away like all of her other stupid little friends, what would be the point? He didn't have any problem letting the Mudblood suffer.

"Alright, if you won't inform me, I ll put it on your shoulders to help her and fix it. Miss Granger, like I said is your partner, she is your problem now."

Draco stood up. "Fine, professor." He said with a scowl.

Hermione didn't hear Draco enter when he usually did, and she was perfectly okay with it. She had some time to herself, she had more time to listen to the silence and question if anything would ever be okay again. She d seen Ron today. He had been with Lavender, like he always was.

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><p>Her thoughts were broken, scattered and she didn't know if she could deal with this any longer. She needed Ron, so badly. The most awful thing was he didn't appear to miss her at all. Could he really drop her so easily? Had she really meant nothing?<p>

When Draco entered, she'd been in the kitchen, fixing her first real meal in weeks. He walked in and stood there, she could practically feel his stare beating on her back. She didn't speak, she hadn't spoken in days.

"Granger," Draco called. "You need to fucking snap out of this depression, or whatever you want to call it. This is messed up and you should wake up."

She turned around to face him, astounded. "You can't seriously tell me you care, you prat. Hermione spat. Why do you care? Or rather, what would you get out of it?"

"Maybe I just care." He said, but his eyes told a completely different story.

"Oh, obviously you don't care Malfoy, don t try to fool me. It would bloody kill you to care about anyone but yourself." She stated simply.

"Fine then, bitch. Dumbledore is on my back about it. He thinks your fucked up mind is my fault and he told me to bloody fix it." Draco mumbled.

"Well people need to mind their own business. We both know it's not your fault, you don t have that big of an effect on me. So you don't need to fix anything. I'm not your problem.

"Well apparently now you are! You need to get over all of this love bullshit because there are billions of other problems in this world that are way bigger than your problems with the cheating weasel!"

"For a few years you had me fooled, Mudblood! You had us all fooled, top marks of the year? Bullshit. If you're going to let an insignificant, waste of pure blood rule your life, I've lost all hope for you. All of it. There wasn't much to begin with, but it had been a start, and now you re a mess. You re a complete fucked-up mess that I m supposed to clean up, if I want to stay at Hogwarts. I don t exactly know when, or how this happened, but as much as I hate it, you re my problem. Do us both a favour and wake the fuck up. She started to cry. And there you go! Yet again Mudblood! Honestly, what the bloody hell is wrong with you? Weasley is nothing, nothing compared to what you could be if you just got the fuck over him!"

Neither of them believed that those words had actually tumbled out of Draco Malfoy's mouth. They both stood there for a few seconds in complete silence, trying to make sense of what had actually just happened. Draco started to retreat, he felt sick.

"I can take care of myself." Hermione whispered softly.

Draco clenched his fists, he wanted to yell and scream at the bitch, but that would only make it all of this worse than it needed to be."I would very much like to believe that Mudblood, but no. No you can't, as much as you disgust me, you're obviously in need of help from a superior being and Dumbledore has chosen me." He smiled pleasantly at her.

"You're just a cocky asshole. In no way are you superior to anyone, snake." She spat at him furiously.

"Wow, feisty are we?"

She glared at him.

"Well good," He said. "It's better than the boring zombie state you've been in the past month."

"It hasn't been a month," she whispered.

"Oh yes it has, almost two now." He arched a blonde eyebrow at her.

Hermione sat down, she felt like she was going to faint.


	5. Chapter 5

**Authors notes: **

**Hello everyone! Exams are over for me so I'm starting a new semester of high school, oh joy right? Haha, anyway, I hope all of you like this chapter, and as my beta pointed out, Draco may seem a bit out of character since he's actually being fairly nice to Hermione in this chapter! Don't fret, he'll be back to his normal pissy and mean self in the next chapter *insert evil cackle here* **

**Hope you all enjoy the chapter and like I say every single chapter, please, please, please review! I enjoy reading them and they really motivate me! **

**Alright, bye for now! Enjoy reading, lovelies! xx**

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><p>Hermione sat in the hospital wing, unaccompanied, shuddering and weeping hysterically. The girl couldn't take it anymore, because that's just what she was, only a girl. She was abandoned, afraid and didn't have a clue what to do next. Hermione felt out of control. This couldn't possibly be her life. She couldn't have worked that hard to only get here.<p>

Madame Pomfrey had just left so Hermione could process what she had just been told. Hermione didn't know how to take it all because honestly, she only wanted one person in this world to comfort her. She knew it was an unreasonable desire but she wanted Ron. She felt safe with him.

Apparently it had been a chromosomal abnormality, which meant something about the baby's chromosomes had been wrong. It had died.

And now it seemed like the world was laughing at her for ever wanting Ron to herself. Their relationship now seemed like some cruel joke the universe had played on her. As soon as she'd finally been happy, it all was pulled away from her.

The baby, their baby, would have been Hermione's chance to have any tie to Ron.

It had all been taken away from her as soon as she'd gotten them, what did she have left?

How could she tell Ron? How could she tell anyone? Would Dumbledore let her stay head girl?

All these questions swam around her head and she could feel her sanity gradually slipping away. Then something else in her mind finally clicked, how could she have been so stupid?

She was seventeen! A slip up like that could have potentially ruined her life, her career, her grades, everything she had ever worked for. It all could have disappeared. Hermione had never felt so dense in her life, she should have taken more precautions, she should have been more careful. She was so lucky the baby was gone, it would have ruined her.

She sat up like she had been electrocuted, how heartless could she be?

This brought on an entire new flow of tears, how could she wish death of something so innocent? The baby hadn't just been hers; she'd lost a part of Ron too. She'd killed Ron's child.

Their child.

The final realization had Hermione in a whole new set of hysterics.

Madame Pomfrey rushed in, and pulled Hermione into an embrace. "There, there child." she murmured. "It's not your fault."

"Yes it is!" Hermione wailed, and then calmed a little. "I could have ruined everything… I killed a child." she whispered, sounding defeated.

"Oh, Hermione, you didn't kill the baby. It happened on its own, you couldn't have done anything to stop it from happening." she murmured, dimly reminding Hermione of her own mother. It was comforting. "Have some of this dreamless sleep potion when you are ready, dear. I'm afraid you will have to stay the night in the hospital wing."

Madame Pomfrey patted Hermione's hand before she rushed away to her own room.

She wasted no time. Hermione drank the entire bottle.

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><p>After Draco had left the crying mudblood in the medical wing, he returned hastily to their dorm.<p>

Yet, the more he seemed to focus on the sodding Gryffindor princess, the more he was beginning to question if the Gyriffindors were really as courageous as they are supposed to be.

Although, it could just be the polluted muggle blood that runs in her veins that makes her so weak.

Whatever it was that made her so sodding weak, it was bloody confusing.

When he returned to the dorms, Draco didn't go to bed until well into the morning hours. He told himself that he stayed awake so late because it was the weekend and he could do whatever the hell he wanted to do, but deep down he knew he was waiting for Granger to return. Not because he was necessarily concerned, but more due to the fact that he was merely curious.

Draco subconsciously wondered what could have upset the girl so badly. He had been doing it a lot, thinking of the bushy haired muggle born way more than he ought to be. It upset him, and he often found himself lying awake at night, wondering why he'd taken this sudden interest in this strange girl's life. He almost found it interesting, in a revolting kind of way, how Grangers mind seemed to work. He felt a strange curiosity for the things the annoying mudblood did now.

The strange curiosity had him heading off for the medical wing first thing in the morning when he'd awoken and Granger hadn't been in her room like she always was.

Madame Pomfrey let him come into the wing, but Hermione hadn't woken up yet. Draco felt strange waiting beside her bed for her to wake up like he cared if she did or not. He sat there just staring at her, glad that the wing was empty. It was a strange peaceful feeling that washed over him as he watched her, he didn't have any time to be repulsed.

He sat there for maybe an hour, before she began to stir.

She groaned, "Malfoy, what _are_ you doing here?" she inquired.

He didn't exactly know how to answer, so he asked his own question, "What happened exactly, Granger?"

"I don't need you spreading this around school, Malfoy." she whispered.

He almost felt angry that she jumped to the conclusion that he would tell anyone about whatever had happened, "And who would I tell, Granger? You really think anyone I hang around gives a shit about you? You're not exactly their first priority."

She considered it for a moment, and a thoughtful look appeared on her face, "Why exactly do you care? Not to sound rude, but, I can't see you genuinely caring about me."

"And who the bloody hell said I care about you?" he shot her a deadly look. "You're an idiot if you think I do. I'm merely curious, mudblood."

Her eyes hardened up again, "Well, then it's none of your sodding business, ferret!"

He stood up quickly, eyes flashing with rage, "Fine, for all I care rot in hell, Granger, have fun swimming in your own sorrows."

Hermione started crying, she didn't know why, but Malfoy's words had actually hurt her feelings. She started to say something, but he sat down again and interrupted her,

"'I know that pain is the most important thing in the universes. Greater than survival, greater than love, greater than even the beauty it brings about. For without pain, there can be no pleasure. Without sadness, there can be no happiness. Without misery there can be no beauty. And without these, life is endless, hopeless, doomed and damned.'" he paused for a second, "Listen Granger, that is probably one of the most incredible quotes I've ever read, interpret it how you'd like to."

Then Draco stood up, and left her drowning in her thoughts.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hello everyone! It's been a while since my last update, but I worked pretty hard on this chapter, so I hope you'll forgive me for taking so long. There's not much new to tell you, just keep reviewing, please! Reviews really keep me going. **

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><p>"One week, Miss Granger." madame Pomfrey threatened. "I don't think you have realized the seriousness of the situation. I believe Professor Dumbledore and I have been more than understanding with your situation but Mr. Weasley deserves to know what has happened here. So if you fail to tell him by the end of the week, then I shall."<p>

"But—

"No excuses Miss Granger! I realize how difficult this must be for you, but you must tell Mr. Weasley." She stated firmly, standing up and glaring at Hermione.

For a moment, Hermione was silent, she didn`t know what to feel, let alone what to say. "Alright, I'll do it." she answered after a few more seconds.

"If you do not, I shall tell him, so I am holding you to your word." she warned softly.

"I understand."

Then the medi-witch left Hermione to her thoughts.

They bounced around her head quickly as she tried to figure out how to tell the one man that had completely stolen her heart that she had carried, and lost his baby. It was such a difficult thing to understand what had happened herself, let alone explain it to another person. She felt like a failure, and Hermione couldn't have anyone else know she'd done something so wrong and blatantly against the rules. If Ron ever let it slip about the pregnancy and loss of their baby, Hermione's life would be over.

Ron had never been one to seek revenge, but honestly Hermione was terrified with the amount of power over her life she would be giving him once she told him. Obviously, if he let it slip, it wouldn't affect him in the slightest bit, all he would earn was a reputation. Evidently it wouldn't be the type of reputation Hermione would earn, no. Ron would be praised by his friends! Hermione would be the only one out of the two that paid the price.

She gazed out the window longingly. It hadn't been this beautiful outside in months, early April usually brings heavy rain, but not today. Today was the kind of day Hermione would have killed to be lying in the grass outdoors, soaking in the sun. She pondered the thought for a moment, why couldn't she? She felt fine.

She considered for the slightest fraction of a moment breaking the rules by leaving without permission, but Hermione knew that just was not an option. Her position as head girl was hanging by a thread at the moment and she could not afford to lose it. It was the only honourable thing she had left that she could feel proud of. Losing It would be devastating.

So, Hermione politely called for madame Pomfrey, smiling when the witch arrived.

"Yes, dear? Is everything alright?" she questioned.

"Oh, yes! Of course! Thank you for asking." Hermione flashed a charming smile. "No, but I _was_ wondering if I may leave for an hour or so to enjoy the weather." madame Pomfrey looked like she was going to interrupt, so she hastily continued. "It's not healthy for me to be cooped up for this long and we haven't had a lovely day like this in months! I'll stay out of everyone's view so they don't see me and ambush me with questions. Please? Only one hour." Hermione pleaded.

Hermione could tell she was really considering it, so she waited for several moments so the witch could respond.

Finally, madame Pomfrey sighed with a minor smile upon her face, shaking her head slightly "One hour."

Professor Snape surprisingly let the potions class leave early due to the lovely weather outside and Draco almost wept with joy. Pansy Parkinson was one of the most persistently annoying girls he had ever had the misfortune of meeting. She has a flattering but slightly embarrassing case of infatuation with Draco and, today particularly, he felt like she was suffocating him with her proximity. Pansy did not have much going on in the brain department either, so talking to her was particularly painful.

In short, Pansy was a pain in the arse and he was glad to spend time outdoors, away from her.

Outside, it smelt divine, like it always did after a heavy rain. Luckily for Draco the grass was dry, so he removed his shoes and socks and stepped into the tall grass, barefoot. He headed in the direction of his favourite spot, by the biggest tree on the grounds. He adored this kind of weather; it helped him think about everything that was going on in his life.

Like why Granger had been cooped up in the hospital wing for so long, without being allowed visitors. He'd tried to visit her again after that one meeting they'd shared, but madame Pomfrey had forbade him, so he was left in the darkness about the girl's well-being. It almost troubled him, not being able to know where his room-mate was.

As he was approaching his favourite spot on the grounds, he noticed someone else was there and he sighed loudly, obviously he'd never be allowed some time alone.

When Draco got closer to the shadowy figure that was lying in the grass he realized with a shock that it was Granger, his missing room-mate. She appeared to be fast asleep, and the peacefulness that stole her features shocked him. He stood there for a few minutes, mesmerized by her honey brown hair that was sprawled in the grass, and her olive skin that seemed flawless, even in the sunlight. He fought the urge to touch her skin, it looked so soft.

Draco was getting closer to her now, almost dangerously close. His shadow covered her body, and he watched the slow rising and falling of her chest.

Her eyes snapped open; she sat up quickly and practically bolted away without even looking at him. `

`Granger! Where the fuck are you going?" Draco yelled after her.

She stopped running when she heard his voice, and turned around slowly to face him. She looked him over curiously studying him. She didn't say anything for a few moments and Draco contemplated repeating himself, but decided it was safer for him to sit down in the tall grass and wait for her to at least reply.

She didn't reply though.

Hermione approached Draco cautiously and he wondered slightly why this somehow didn't feel real. Because somehow, in the sunlight, by his favourite tree, it was not a disgusting muggle that was eyeing him suspiciously, it was a beautiful woman. A woman of seventeen that he had somehow known— and hated all of the years he'd been at Hogwarts, but now that he hadn't seen her in weeks he could _see _her now. And Draco didn't mean see, as in sight with his eyes, but somehow her absence had taken something away from him, something he could feel growing stronger within him with every step she took in his direction. It was a pleasant, peaceful feeling that filled his entire body.

When Hermione finally sat cross-legged, in front of him, accidentally brushing his arm, the spell was broken. It left him feeling cold and somewhat angry.

"What the hell are you doing here, Granger? Are you not supposed to be in bed at the hospital wing?" He asked, trying to add as much venom as possible into his voice.

She gazed at him dreamily, and he wondered if he hadn't sounded as menacing as he thought he had. "I have an hour," she replied simply.

"So you decided to use your hour to come here?" he demanded.

"Well… it's actually my favourite place to come when it's nice outdoors, though, I'm usually alone here," Hermione looked him up and down, questioningly.

He raised his head proudly, ignoring her probing stare. "Why did they let you out for the hour then?"

"Oh… well," she started looking dreamy again. Draco caught himself staring a second too long, and ripped his eyes away from her lovely face. "It's nice outside," she paused for a second, a slight smile creeping its way upon her lips. "I practically begged her, really." her eyes flashed up to meet his stare. "I told her I wouldn't be seen or talk to anyone. She told me too much stress wouldn't be good for me."

His eyes found their way to the grass again, her honey eyes were to beautiful for him to reply properly. "And you're speaking to me? Wow, I'm kind of insulted. I used to pride myself for causing you so much stress."

"Used to?" she questioned softly.

His fist clenched up, and his face seemed to contort into anger. "So why speak to me?" he asked, deciding to ignore her almost question.

"Speaking to anyone else would have upset me. I guess being head girl with you really helped me deal with your hatred of me; your presence is actually rather comforting. It's nice not to be worried about for a few minutes." she sighed, closing her eyes.

Draco bit his tongue, almost uttering something… decent, but he decided against it. "Why were you in the hospital wing, Granger?"

Hermione's eyes opened slowly, and she gulped. Her eyes darted to either side, down, and then they finally fixated themselves on him. He could tell she was having a rather heated battle with herself inside her head, so he held her gazed.

It was a solid five minutes before she answered him. "I was… well, pregnant." her eyes filled with tears, and Draco ignored a strange urge to hold her hands.

"You _were_? As in, past-tense?" he replied, sounding surprisingly casual.

"Yes, it had already passed by the time I'd arrived in the hospital wing." she answered quietly.

"Does he know?"

Draco didn't have to say his name; they both knew who he was talking about.

"No." she finally whispered, closing her eyes.

He reached forward and held her hand, rubbing the back of it with his thumb.

They sat like that for what felt like hours, but what Draco knew to only be minutes, before she pulled away.

"My hour is up. Thank you Malfoy, you've been very… understanding." she leaned forward and kissed his cheek before standing and beginning to run away. "Don't worry, I won't tell anyone. This can't be real anyways."


End file.
